Why Kink Is the Relationship Game-Changer


When I say the word “kinky”, what do you envision? 

Leather outfits?

(Picture: Imgur/Arrested Development)

Red rooms of pain?

(Picture: Entertainment Weekly/Fifty Shades of Grey)

Rihanna's S&M Video?

(GIF: Giphy/Rihanna)


(Picture: Kickstarter/Furries Documentary)


(Picture: YouTube/Brent Hodge)

Cake farts?

(I'll let you Google that one. You've been warned.)

If you said yes to one or more of these categories, you’re not alone. 

Our society’s definition of kink falls into the “taboo” category - which often indicates the darker side of human nature, or the deviant, obsessive nature of fetish. 

Whether in spite of, or because of, this classification, kink is gradually becoming more mainstream. Even while "polite" society outwardly rejects that which is taboo, we receive a constant stream of kinky images in the media. 

But despite our increasing awareness of kink, these mainstream images are still often dark, verging on the terrifying. In film and television, kink is practiced by people with lax morals, mental health issues, or pathological tendencies. In American Horror Story's many seasons, kinky sex and fetish go hand-in-hand with unspeakable acts. Then there's the serial killer who has a twisted fascination with painting severed fingertips (Dexter). Nobody can forget the chilling serial killer who sews a suit of women's skin (Silence of the Lambs). Then there's another serial killer who... well, you get the point. In crime shows, victims of sexual assault who practice kink are often dismissed or even ridiculed.

(Picture: Showtime/Dexter)

Even the incredibly popular Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, arguably one of the more "positive" mainstream portrayals of kink, still manages to shine a negative light on kink and BDSM. We are introduced to a sadistic, controlling billionaire with a past of sexual assault and mental health issues. Anyone connected with Christian's deviant sexual past is portrayed as evil (his mother's friend, who took advantage of him when he was a minor) or in need of psychiatric care (his former submissive, who stalks and eventually turns a gun on Ana). Even Christian requires saving from himself: it is the virtuous Ana, initially repulsed by his desires, who eventually redeems him. 

Somewhere along the way, kink became twisted into a definition of sexual obsession and unhealthy, deviant love. 

This perception doesn’t sit comfortably on the same shelf with pure, romantic love.

But why can't it? 

At The KinkKit, we embrace and celebrate kink, not for its connection to dark fantasies, but for its potential to enliven relationships and revolutionize intimacy.

To paraphrase erotic author Tamsen Parker, kink isn't shameful. Kink is not a last-resort to save a passionless, dying bond. Nor is it something you "get over" as soon as you've found The One. Kink should be explored frequently (and enthusiastically!) at all stages of a relationship. 

Here's why.

Intimacy is the capacity to be rather weird with someone - and finding that that’s okay with them.
— Alain de Botton

Crack open a Webster’s: the dictionary defines “Kink”, in short, as “weird”. Most people shy away from weirdness or awkward situations, as it inherently brings about discomfort. But discomfort, like in so many other life situations, brings about change and forms stronger bonds between people who can get past it.

Discovering weirdness is part of what builds intimacy in a relationship. We learn the hidden weirdnesses of our partners and choose to love and embrace them for who they are. Kink is weird ... which is precisely why it is perfect for relationships. People are weird, too. That is what makes us unique and beautiful. Everyone's weirdness varies. Just like everyone's inner fantasies.

Kink is weird ... which is precisely why it is perfect for relationships. People are weird, too. That is what makes us unique and beautiful.

This is why we WANT you to get weird with your partner. We challenge you to create a safe space in your relationship; to entertain open discussions about your needs, wants, desires, and limits. We challenge you to explore different kinky scenarios and accept all of each others' weirdnesses with acceptance and love.

So go ahead: get tangled up in shibari rope together.

Make a mess of your bedsheets while painting each other with chocolate syrup.

Zone out breathlessly after a soul-touching tantric meditation session. 

Discover new erogenous spots on each others' bodies that you didn't know existed. 

Become comfortable openly discussing discomforts, consent, and limits during Aftercare.

Keep discovering new ways to give each other the most mind-blowing orgasms of your lives. 

Experience a new level of intimacy as you build your sexual bond.

You can explore all of these scenarios with the KinkKit, along with many more. 

We created the KinkKit to allow couples to explore their weirdnesses together, in a safe space with fun, erotic games.

Each of our themed boxes allows couples to learn more about and discuss each others needs, wants, desires, and limits, all while having fun. As you explore the scenarios in each box, you will discover a variety of games that require you to switch roles, communicate openly with your partner, and become comfortable with vulnerability.

While we exit our formal education armed with years of bookish knowledge, in the realm of love and intimacy we are completely defenseless. The KinkKit teaches you and your lover how to navigate the often-uncomfortable weirdness with laughter and love.

Overall, that is our mission and our goal: to get more people to explore their physical and mental intimacies both inside and outside of the bedroom, and build lasting, weird, passionate, vulnerable, strong, mindblowing bonds with their partners that they only dreamed of.

Stay weird. Get freaky. Have fun.

With love,

The KinkKit Team